The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy is based on the research of Drs. John and Julie Gottman. Gottman trained therapists aim to help couples learn how to communicate better with each other, understand each other’s needs and improve their relationship satisfaction. The therapy works by teaching couples how to understand and respond to each other’s bids for connection. The therapy also helps couples identify and change negative patterns of interaction and frequent conflict that can lead to relationship problems.

The Gottman Method couples therapy is different from other types of therapy in several ways.

First, it is based on research that has shown that couples who are able to effectively communicate and understand each other’s needs are more likely to have a happy and successful relationship. The Gottman Method focuses on helping couples improve their communication and conflict-resolution skills so that they can build healthy relationships.

Another key difference is that the Gottman Method uses a structured approach, which means that each session has a specific purpose and goal. This helps to ensure that the couple is making progress towards their goals. Finally, the Gottman Method utilizes both individual and couples counseling, which allows each partner to work on their individual issues as well as address the issues within the relationship. Gottman Method also employs a deep assessment process to help identify each couple’s unique strengths and challenges. This allows the therapist to tailor the therapy to the specific needs of the couple.

The Gottman Method has been shown to be an effective treatment for couples who are struggling in their relationship. In fact, research has shown that this method can significantly improve relationship satisfaction and reduce conflict. By using this comprehensive approach, the Gottman approach provides couples with the tools they need to build a healthy and happy relationship where they share fondness and admiration for each other.

The 7 Gottman Principles

Gottman Method Couples Counseling is based on seven principles that can help couples strengthen their relationship and build a lasting bond that is sure to increase intimacy between partners.

The first principle is that all couples have a unique love story.

Every couple has a unique love story. This story includes the couple's history, experiences, and values. Understanding this story can help couples appreciate each other's perspectives and find common ground and shared meaning. The first principle of the Gottman method is to understand this love story. By understanding where your partner has come from and what they value, you can begin to build a strong foundation for your relationship. When you know your partner's love story, you can start to create your own shared story full of meaning and connection.

The second principle is that all couples have a sound relationship house.

A sound relationship house is built on a foundation of trust, respect, and commitment. These are the three pillars that support a healthy relationship. Without these pillars, the relationship will crumble. The second principle of the Gottman method is to build a strong foundation for your relationship. This foundation will support you through the ups and downs of life and help you weather any storms that come your way.

The third principle is that all couples have conflict.

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. It is how couples deal with conflict that determines whether it will be destructive or constructive. The third principle of the Gottman method is to turn conflict into a positive force in your relationship. Couples who are able to handle conflict in a constructive way are more likely to stay together and be happy in their relationship.

The fourth principle is that all couples need to invest in their relationship.

Investing in your relationship means making time for each other, communicating openly and honestly, and doing things together that you both enjoy. The fourth principle of the Gottman method is to invest in your relationship. When you make time for each other and do things together that you both enjoy, it helps to strengthen the bond between you.

The fifth principle is that all couples need to manage their expectations.

Couples often have different expectations for their relationship. One person may want to spend more time together while the other may need more space. It is important to manage these expectations and communicate openly about them. The fifth principle of the Gottman method is to manage your expectations. When you are able to talk about your expectations and understand each other's needs, it can help to prevent conflict and build a stronger relationship.

The sixth principle is that all couples need to understand and accept their partner's influence.

Couples often have different levels of influence in their relationship. One person may be more dominant while the other may be more submissive. It is important to understand and accept these differences. The sixth principle of the Gottman method is to understand and accept your partner's influence. When you are able to accept each other's different roles in the relationship, it can help to prevent conflict and build a stronger bond.

The seventh principle is that all couples need to nurture their friendship.

Good relationships don't just happen - they take work. And one of the most important things you can do to keep your relationship strong is to nurture your friendship. That's because friends are more likely to stay together. Friendships are built on trust, respect, and communication. So when you nurture your friendship, you're really building a stronger foundation for your relationship. The seventh principle of the Gottman Method is all about creating and maintaining that friendship. It's about making time for each other, being there for each other, and showing each other gratitude and appreciation. When you nurture your friendship, you're not just making your relationship stronger - you're making yourself stronger, too.

The Gottman method is different from other relationship advice because it is based on principles that have been proven to work. The Gottman Method is not about changing your partner or trying to fix your relationship. It's about understanding your partner and yourself and learning how to build a healthy, happy, and lasting relationship. If you're looking for relationship advice that will help you create a strong, healthy, and happy relationship with shared experiences and shared meaning, plus a heightened sense of belonging, the Gottman Method is for you.

Who can benefit from this type of therapy

Couples who want to improve their communication and conflict-resolution skills can benefit from the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. The therapy helps couples learn how to understand and respond to each other’s bids for connection, as well as identify and change negative patterns of interaction. The Gottman Method also uses a structured approach, which ensures that each session has a specific purpose and goal. This helps couples make progress towards their goals. Marriage work is for couples that want to improve their relationship satisfaction and build a healthy and happy marriage.

How to find a therapist who uses this method

You can search for a Gottman-trained therapist in your area on the Gottman Institute website. If you are located near the Santa Clarita Vally in Southern California, we invite you to contact us for an appointment. Safe Space Marriage and Family Counseling specializes in the Gottman Method and have a Gottman Method couples therapist on staff. We would love to explore working with you to manage conflict, give a positive perspective, deepen the emotional connection between you and your partner and improve your relationship dynamics.  

Many couples find themselves struggling to communicate effectively and end up feeling stuck in negative patterns of behavior. The Gottman Method is a Therapeutic Framework that has been shown to be highly effective in helping couples overcome these challenges. The key to the Gottman Method is its focus on building positive interactions and developing a deeper understanding of each partner's needs and goals. By establishing a foundation of respect and cooperation, couples are able to effectively communicate and resolve conflicts in a way that leads to lasting satisfaction. With over four decades of research backing its effectiveness, the Gottman Method has helped countless couples create strong, healthy relationships. If you are struggling in your relationship, consider reaching out to a certified Gottman therapist who can help you put this proven method into practice.

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